For the last couple of weeks I have needed respite from putting myself “out there” in a public space. As the quotation by Rumi says, “the world is too full to talk about.”
The world is full. It is brimming over with energy and emotion. I hesitate to pick up my phone in the mornings, for I know I will check my emails, read the news, and go over my social media accounts. Each of these venues will reflect to me the world’s fullness. My hesitation comes from the tension of wanting to withdraw from what is occurring in the sociopolitical landscape while feeling pulled to connect with others, on a micro and global scale. The internal pull and push is exhausting, particularly when, each day, I come across a story or event where we, human beings, are treating one another with disdain, hatred, and injustice. The sheer force of unveiled contempt for life – human, animal, or nature – witnessed through first-hand observation or via media outlets has been staggering for me. As I have been writing in previous blogs, acts fueled by negativity are decentering and require that I take time to regain equilibrium.
Yet, even as events unfold that are unfathomable, I have noticed them disappearing from my mind’s eye like the end of a movie where a person on horseback merges in the distance with the horizon. I don’t feel like I am disassociating from the harsh realities we currently are experiencing, but rather that a part of me is pushing away the antagonism and pulling toward a greater awareness of the present moment.
The present moment of conscious breathing and exhaling focuses the lens through which I view this world. The sunlight becomes brighter and more intense. Each leaf and blade of grass is discernable. The soft breeze and gentle rain resonate deeply within me. Each sound its own symphony. With this clarity, I recognize my oneness with all that is within and around me. I forget the cars, the smartphones, the laptops, and the constant barrage of “to dos.” I am here. I am with YOU.
Rumi helps us to remember, “ideas, language, and even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense.” I close my eyes and stop the noise. We are in the soul’s “field.” We are equals. Our hearts are one. Our minds connected. This is what it means not to get caught up in the world. “To be in the world, but not of it.” You are not separate from me. I SEE you. I feel your joy, your sadness, and pain. We understand another and do not have to speak to know our needs, wants, and desires. We just ARE. And this realization is good. It makes us feel settled and safe.
When the world’s fullness feels like too much, I am grateful for retreat. I am thankful for the ability to unplug. I am privileged to do so. I live a life where fullness means having a busy schedule, several projects to tackle, and many meetings to attend. I do not worry about my city getting bombed or my children going hungry. These are real concerns that warrant humility and reflection as I navigate my first-world challenges. Not everyone can disconnect or escape violent and dispossessing realities we, as human beings, have created and continue to perpetuate.
I sit with these thoughts daily.
I appreciate YOU who is reading this. I thank you for sharing this space, right now, with me. I do not know how you are understanding the world around you in this moment, but I want you to know that I am HERE for you and with you as we take some time to figure out our next steps.
With much love,